l swear I got up and did this in the morning, there was just no time to write a thoughtful blog... But I doubt I'll be able to write something insightful now. But perhaps reflective.
Currently my workflow is being challenged by condensed timelines, and not knowing what the hell I'm doing. So, my day was a careful balance of asking for help, acting confident, and "secretly" getting online. Fake it till no one can see you looking things up on Ggoogle.
The truth is no one will judge us for doing any of these things, we just perceive that we should know everything already. We're professionals after all. ;)
They say there is good stress and bad stress and our society has come to believe all stress is bad. I have been guilty of the fear of stress many times and have taken every precaution to avoid it, which means sitting very still. It's not only demoralizing but it takes away the will to do something about the cause of stress, good or bad.
I am now able to recognize the patterns that lead to a place of inaction. It's the sense that I'm overloaded and will never be able to catch up no matter how hard I work. This stems, for me, from looking at everything that must be done all at once and not breaking things down into bite-size chunks. I'm talking school yes, but also working, freelancing, and taking care of my home and body. There's no way to fit in everything everyday, and that is something I'm learning to accept.
I'll be honest, there was nothing that I would rather do today than sleep in and not make this drawing. But I was seeing it as another thing on a long to-do list and not for what it's meant to be. Getting up early to draw something purely for the sake of drawing is time for myself. It's my meditation, my way to fire up the brain through observation, problem solving, and creativity.
Here is my commitment to myself: This is my time. It's not extra space in my day for concept drawing for work or school. I will protect this time from the invasive species that is worry, anxiety, and dread.
This was not meant to be a long post, but I'm basically giving myself a pep-talk to start the day. "You can do it!"
Re-doing my morning routine to get up early also means I need to change my nighttime drill. So instead of tv til the last possible minute I can keep my eyes open, I'm reading. This is what stuck with me last night, knowing that sometimes getting started is the hardest part.
"Most of us commit to action only if we feel a certain level of motivation. And we feel motivation only when we feel enough emotional inspiration...Your actions create further emotional reactions and inspirations and move on to motivate your future actions. "
-The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
So here is my action of the day!
For the next 40 days I'm challenging myself to sketch everyday. Drawing used to be a go-to in my spare time, or at any job I worked at (and yes I used the company paper). It was a way to express myself, channel boredom, and eventually something I wanted to make into a career. But the desire to draw is not the problem, it's the fear of not making something amazing every time pencil touches paper.
More and more I've been spending my working and "off" hours on a screen, and I have become perpetually bored. School and home life keeps me busy, yet I know there is time for drawing if I would just put my butt in the chair.
So here is my chance to take action and my purpose is two-fold.
First, I want to release my creativity from ego and self-doubt! Sketching isn't about being perfect, it's about learning and expression. I want to free this part of me that has been viewing art/drawing/design as a job for the last several years and I want the enjoyment back!
I am really looking forward to this challenge because I know it will provide me with more self discipline, freedom, and growth.
I'm an illustrator and graphic designer who is desperate to get back to the basics of pencil and paper! I'm challenging myself to sketch everyday for 40 days in hopes of regaining my overall skill, creativity, and wonder!